10 ways....

TEN WAYS TO BECOMING A BETTER EQUESTRIAN

10. Drop a heavy steel object on your foot. Don't pick it up right
away.Instead, shout, "Get Off, Stupid! GET OFF!"

9. Leap out of a moving vehicle and practice "relaxing into the fall." Roll
into a ball and spring lithely to your feet.

8. Learn to grab your checkbook and write out a $200 check without even
looking down.

7. Jog long distances carrying a halter and a carrot. Go ahead and tell the
neighbors what you are doing - they might as well know now.

6. Affix a pair of reins to a moving freight train and practice pulling to a
halt. Smile as if you are having fun.

5. Hone your fibbing skills: "See, moving hay bales is FUN!" and, "No,
really, I'm glad YOUR LUCKY PERFORMANCE and multi-million dollar horse won
the class. I am just thankful that MY HARD WORK and actual ability won me
second place."

4. Practice dialing your chiropractor while paralyzed to
the shoulder and one foot anchoring the lead rope of a frisky horse.

3. Borrow the US Army's slogan: Be All That You Can Be - bitten, thrown,
kicked, slimed, trampled, frozen...

2. Lie face down in a puddle of mud in your most expensive riding clothes
and repeat to yourself, "This is a learning experience. This is a learning
experience. This is . . ."

AND THE NUMBER ONE EXERCISE TO BECOME A BETTER EQUESTRIAN:

1. Remember, its never the horse's fault...* :-)